fashion tragedy

today, the weather turned cold again. i was relatively glad, seeing as how i have no spring clothing in order for warmth. however, i'm "outgrowing" my duds due to massive overeating. what on EARTH will i do when i quit smoking?!?!? i've gained about ten pounds in ten months. Though i needed to gain SOME, my clothes need to fit because i cannot replace them at this time. ugh. kinda depressing, but dressing like a weiner dog cheered me up. yay sally. i miss her.

From the Kitchen

1/4 c is NOT my friend! I have had the same measuring cups for (probably) ten years. About the second month after I bought them, I sat the 1/4 measuring cup on the counter too close to the stove. That little faux pas went unnoticed until it was too late -- a little hole melted into the cup, about the size of the tip of my pinkie finger. But I kept using that warped little 1/4 cup, mostly because it seemed frivolous to go out and buy another set just for a 'right' 1/4 cup. I don't know of any stores that sell measuring cups by themselves.



Finally, about a month ago, I saw a set of measuring cups with measuring spoons that matched. My measuring spoons are fine, thank you, but for some reason unbeknownst to me, I just had to have that nifty matching set, hung together on a convenient hanger for my kitchen. Lo and behold, the only two times I've used that set of measuring cups, I've used the 1/4 cup. The second time I used it, I was packing brown sugar for cookies and guess what? The handle snapped right off! I guess I don't know my own strength. I laughed out loud tonight as I whipped up a corny banana oat bread for work tomorrow. Still using the old stuff, still positioning my index finger just so on the little hole in the 1/4 cup, never bothering with the new measuring spoons at all. In my defense, I didn't study the new utensils at all when I bought them, or I wouldn't have. Each one, every cup, every spoon, has two levels of measuring. I'm not sure what that is supposed to do for you. I don't like my tablespoon to double as a 4-teaspoon measurer. Hmmm...



And another note from the kitchen. I usually mix my dry ingredients separately from my liquids and moist ingredients whether the recipe calls to or not. Unless the recipe specifically instructs to add this or mix-in that in a different order, I mix them separately and then blend the two together. This always makes me think of myJoe. He once named my wire whisk "Spooner" and now, every time I use it, I root through my utensil drawer telling myself out loud that 'I know I put Spooner back in this drawer somewhere!' Ah, the Joe-isms...they never fail to make me smile.

"Is that for a boy or a girl?"

Having a son who is a chemist at a major pharmaceutical company may be a good thing -- especially if he's my son. JoeChemist is the kind of son who listens when I talk to him. He likes to ponder grand things and is not afraid to embark on new adventures. We had a conversation this past week that went something like this:

self: So, JoeChemist -- why can't the pharmaceutical companies come up with an antibiotic for girls? You know, we have trouble with side-effects when we take some antibiotics?

JoeChemist: Oh, you mean the dreaded yeast infections?

self: *cough* um...yes, I do. And that makes me wonder why chemists like yourself can't make an antibiotic with the anti-girl-trouble-drug in it too...you know?

JoeChemist: Yeah, I've heard that is really bad for some people.

self: So, you know, I'm thinking the doctor could call the prescription in to the pharmacy and when the pharmacist heard, for example, amoxicillin, he/she could ask, 'is that for a male or a female?', kinda like when you drive through for fast food and order that kiddie meal, ya know?

JoeChemist: *laughing hysterically*

self: Ok, ok, son, I know that sounds ridiculous, but really...why?

JoeChemist: Oh, ma, only you! *cleansing sigh* Because antibiotics destroy bacteria to kill infection, but that same bacteria is useful for the other problem. So adding the drugs you need to prevent the girl-trouble would be (probably) nullified by the antibiotic. That, or the antibiotic would be rendered less useful in fighting the infection.

self: oh.

Well, I thought it was a good idea. I guess if you're one who struggles with that issue, your doc could write you the necessary girl-trouble prescription at the same time and post-date it for a week after the antibiotic run, right? I'm grateful I don't have that problem...seriously.

my son Joe

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wow

my baby, my son, my Marine.

Welcome Home!

draft for cbs

i found
the story of me
in a book on a shelf

Who knew
all that i would do
before i knew?
and wrote it down
for all to see

me

one born
free to choose
free to go, to do, to be

me

Who saw me
take from the tree?
murder my brother
worship gods
those little "g" kind
turn my face
from HIM?

Who watched me
become a drunkard?
sit idle, daydreaming?

Who saw that
i'd rather fabricate a story
than tell the truth?

Who watched
as the blows fell
and knew that i was
abused?
and that i wear it
like a badge
carry it
like an excuse...
and just how is it that
somebody saw me
abusing someone too?

Who wrote this book
and made it available
in thirty-plus languages
and watched as fear
became my god?

right in those pages
i found myself

i am a womanizer
a prostitute
a murderer for my own lustful gain
suicidal
shameless
cowardly
hiding from HIS face...

AS IF

... i am greedy and bankrupt
i have no faith
what is faith anyway?

and if asked...
i do not know HIM
unless it's cool to...
(not really popular you know? shhh!)
besides...
i might get hurt

i worry
and fret the small stuff
i have been divorced and remarried
five times... or is it six?
Who's counting?
i am apathetic
not really hot or cold
and not charitable
i look the other way
at those who just can't seem
to find a way
what am i to do for them

anyway?

i chase believers
cause them to stumble and fall
or kill them altogether
and prey on the weak
some people will believe

anything.

i am sickly
and seek not Healing

and while HE grieves
up on some hill somewhere
i take a nap
hey - i'm really sleepy
stayed up too late last night
and work was hard today
just a power nap here - okay?
and then i'll watch with HIM
before HE comes down
i'll get up for sure
but for now
just rest my eyes a few
while HE deals with HIS stuff right?

Jesus Christ!

that stuff you deal with...
surely not the stuff
You knew i would do
surely not the things
i choose freely to
go and do
and be...
not me...

have mercy morely still...
and Mercy
extended a hand to me
as i lay stammering
unable to hear
beside the road

Mercy
stopped
because HE felt me touch
the slightest edge
of his robe

Mercy
told them to let me come to HIM
and not to stop me
just because i was
small

Mercy said nothing
did tracings in the sand
when they spoke my judgement
and lifted stones
HE set me free
with gentle strength
and showed me how
to walk that way

HE saw my history
just seconds at the well
HE knew it all
and blessed me still

i climbed a tree
because i couldn't see HIM
and HE told me
i should come down
HE wanted to
hang out with me

HE knew i'd falter
at the mention of HIS name
and yet HE called me
long before that
all the same
knowing then
what i would do

HE let me wash
HIS tired feet
with my tears
though i was not worthy
to untie his shoe
HE called me precious then, too

and when we struck HIM
and when we mocked HIS name
beat HIM
and hung HIM on that tree
HE raised HIS eyes
and spoke forgiveness

for me

my freedom purchased
and i am free

to love HIM

and when i ask HIM
to take those things
that call me strongly still
and pull my heart away...
and when i tell HIM
i don't want to be

this

any more
and when i plead with HIM
time and again i ask
i hear HIM say

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

let Grace abound amen

swim down...

encouraging words from my son...